Owen Croft Filth

arts, books, comedy · EN

Born in the middle of 1970 in a damp, pokey back-to-back stone terrace house in Mossley, Greater Manchester – the sort of house where the toilet was outside, the wallpaper peeled itself in protest, and the front door opened straight onto a cobbled hill steep enough to give a mountain goat vertigo. School? Nah, not for Owen. He clocked early that it smelled like cabbage and stale farts, so he gave it a swerve. Instead, every morning he’d be at the gates flogging gingernuts, gobstoppers, flying saucers, and knock-off Wham bars to the same kids the teachers were trying to “educate”. Made more money before registration than the headmaster earned in a week. Considers that his proper e